Artistic Inspiration... The Postcard Age

Going on right now at the MFA in Boston is a fascinating exhibit of vintage postcards. I don't know about you, but I'm a big history buff and these small works of art combine interesting eras in history with great graphic art and old photographs. An employee of the museum (they get especially friendly to members who they see quite often) told me that this exhibit has the more artistically inclined guards all geeked up and sure enough, in the room the guards were viewing the postcards with great interest as were the rest of us. If you are anywhere near Boston, check it out. And yes... buy the book!

Creative Challenge Day 3

I have nothing to show from yesterday - but it doesn't mean that I wasn't creative.... on the contrary, I had one of the best creative days that I've had for a while. I created ideas. I created a plan. And I went to the art store and picked up a few supplies. Sweet bliss...

In the act of creating, I was energized. I tapped into something deep inside of myself and pulled. It felt good. It was like stretching out after a long run (I do remember that feeling from .... 30 years ago, lol).

So, I hope that many of you will use this weekend to create SOMETHING. Maybe it's just creating order out of chaos in your busy home and adding a little flare of flowers or switch around your clutter. If you have an hour or so, just grab a sketch pad and some colored pencils and doodle or put together a small collage filled with your goals and dreams.

For those of us who are wired heavily in our right brains... this is the way we think. This is the way we function. This is the way we make sense out of our lives. We NEED to do this.

As a right brainer, I don't think in lists, I think in images. I'm not linear in my understanding, I'm more circular. I've been realizing that even books written for right brainers are set up in a left brained system. I become more creative... more myself when I use the language of my mind.

One of my daughters has Aspergers. Her mind does not work the same way that mine does. She is not able to process information at the same speed and we often misunderstand each other. I struggle to understand her language. My husband thinks more like she does and is able to get into her mind. They have a strong connection because of that. It's just another example of how wiring makes a difference.

So for those of you who are artistically wired....spend some time today in your world. Get in touch with you! It's good for the soul!

Day 2 of the Creative a Day challenge

Ok - so yesterday I kind of failed in my eyes in my creative challenge. I have ubber-high expectations that everything that I do needs to top the day before and sometimes life just isn't about that. After all, yesterday was about driving my daughter around, purchasing little stuffed animals for charity, boxing, checking and delivering a wonderful number of portrait orders, researching data for an upcoming business venture, a long walk for my health, etc. It's called life and we all live in in one form or another.

So today as I sit here with my strawberry breakfast smoothie and granola bar I contemplate what this day is going to look like. I'm hoping somewhere in it is a pumpkin spice latte and some time in my darling studio with a pile of paints, brushes and my easel. I know today calls for a walk, picking up daughter number two from school, checking in with my folks for a few minutes, and probably cooking a meal... (drats).

Here's the thing, I may just be putting off my art. REALLY?? Yes - even though it is the thing that I MOST crave. Here are my reasons:

1) I'm afraid.... yes. I am scared of failing. I am scared that I will stare at the blank canvas and nothing will come out. I'm afraid that I've lost my skill, my edge. I'm afraid of creating something ugly and then I will be deflated because it will tell me that my identity as an artist is all in my head. I hate to fail. There were times growing up that if I drew a bad picture, I would give up for months on end because it was no longer enjoyable to me. Maybe it's about the tenacity and fight. Some have more than others in different areas that they value. I've been fighting illness for 25 years and never give up, but one bad picture and I'm crushed... Maybe I don't value my art enough to fight for it. Or maybe it just IS that important to me. It is linked with the air I breathe and I want to do it justice.

2)  There are so many images that swim around in my mind at any given moment that I feel paralysis of the creative gland. How do I choose one? Which is most important to come out? What if this was the very last picture that I ever made, what would I want to leave in this world? What is the song left unsong? And what medium do I use? I love them all. I could do mixed media but then I have a mess on my hands... guess it's ok. I have a studio to mess up - but oh, I hate to clean.

3) Funds and time are very limited. I have images in my head that are larger than life. I want to take a 40x60 picture and play with it till it sings... but if I mess up, that's some major money down the drain so I know that I can't make a mistake and just knowing that sends fear into my psyche and then I shut down. Fear and faith don't mix and one needs faith in order to create.

4) Following through on my third point. If funds and time are precious is it even RIGHT for me to use them on art? I can justify anything if I'm doing it to make more money, but if it's art just for the fun of it that is akin to spending money on entertainment and if tuition needs to be paid and food needs to be purchased then I have no business buying a $60 canvas that I might in essence destroy.

5) If time is the problem then why should I spend countless hours in my studio making something beautiful to fill my soul when I should be marketing to bring in more clients or spending that time to develop one of my business ventures. That would be needless and immoral, wasteful and a sin. God will judge me for that. Must get all my 'work' done first before I take time for myself.

6) Ah, there it is, taking time for myself. A wife and mother and money earner finds that a luxury too precious for her. I can preach it but I can't do it. Yes, creating makes my spirit sore. Creating makes me a better wife, mother and bread earner I believe, but from the outside looking in, it just appears that I'm wasting my time and money on something silly.

THERE IT IS! There is the reason that I don't create. There is the reason that I haven't come into my "artistic identity". This is the reason that I'm not living in my Zone of Genius. I am like a hot air balloon tied to the ground. I can only go as high as those ropes will let me go.

Is this true of you too? What are your ropes? What stops you from soaring? What are the voices that hold you back saying to you? What are the values that have been placed so deeply inside of you? How do the voices conflict with your ability to create?

If I grew up in a family of artists, these would not be my voices. The predominant voice might be, "create.. it's as important as breath". Because I grew up in a ministry family (and this isn't a stab at my multi-generational heritage) what was important was denying self and following God's work. This meant that other people's needs were IT. We lived and breathed to fill others needs, never our own. Interestingly enough, my great-grandfather Sake was an artist. He painted murals and beautiful paintings for a living. His son became a pastor. My grandmother was the girl next door and asked Sake  once how she could have one of those beautiful paintings. He told her that she needed to marry one of his sons. So she did and Sake died the very night they were married. She got a painting - but he never painted again. Stroke at age 57.  Did the art die then too? No, Sake is painting in heaven and I got his genes.

There is one more thing I'd like to say. God was the creative creator. He created creating! He loves art and beauty and where would this world be without it? But in order for me to bring art to this world, I have to have a degree of selfishness. Art is all-consuming. To create one must take lots of time and go down into their inner beings to pull something out. Maybe that is my purpose and it is not necessary for me to be on the streets feeding the hungry (let's face it, I'm not there anyway, I'm sitting in my house). Maybe just maybe my purpose is to lock myself in my studio and pull something out of my spirit. Maybe that's my voice instead of preaching. Maybe that's my pulpit.

Or, maybe I'm just like most normal Joe's on this earth. I live, I breathe, I touch people in small ways and then one day I move on to a different dimension. A few people will remember me and carry me in their heart but after a few generations, I will be a picture in a cardboard box somewhere or worse yet, in an antique store for $2.00 and someone will use me in their strange digital art as a vampire or ghost something like I do now. God only knows...

Thanks for listening to my artistic musings today.

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day 1 - creative daily exercise

Okay - here's my first creative venture. Truth be told... I didn't start it until 10:15 in the evening - it took me that long to finish all my obligations for the day... Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to start earlier.

This is one of my favorite little historical houses in town. I snapped this picture a few weeks ago but decided to doctor it up a bit and finish it. I had a small 2 story cape in New Hampshire a while back that I painted this same color red. There's just something about a red cape that makes me feel all warm and cozy inside.

And here is the same cape with a few unseen guests. I imagine that in its day there may have been a scene like this - little boy at the door, father in the field and grandma looking out the window. I watched an evening of Ghost Adventures last night on TV for halloween. Think it's still in my system....

Artistic Inspiration... Mario Testino

By the way, if you are anywhere near Boston, take advantage of the current special exhibit at the MFA. Mario Testino, commercial photographer for royalty, the stars and some pretty hot names has a bigger than life, bright, bold, IN YOUR FACE gallery showing right now. It's one that you won't want to miss - and buy the book too.

As I looked at the In Your Face images perched boldly on the shelf the very first thing I thought was "PPA wouldn't score this very high - they would give it a 74 for he lost definition in the dark shadows". Of course, that's my training.... and that little voice in me, while it helps me make beautiful portraits for my clients, takes away some of my creative edge. I fight it all the time!

And truly, I'm sure at the end of the day when Mr. Testino is counting his money, those gray areas mean nothing... let's face it! His work is beautiful! It's striking and many emotions will come to the surface as you view the sharp, perfect work.

Here's a little sampling of the show.....

And here she is....

It's been what seems like forever since I posted my last "philosophical" blog. It's not for the lack of trying.... but I just couldn't seem to do it. In the midst of all the portrait sessions, illness and demands on life I found myself exhausted and without the energy to build people up. That's what I like to do of course on my blog, leave you with a thought, a good word, a something that will give you a smile on your journey of life... but I just couldn't smile much myself so I couldn't muster any up for you all. My sincere apologies... except that I was just exhibiting my true humanity... something we can all relate to.

I asked a friend this morning who knows me perhaps better than anyone else does "Who AM I? What do I do well?" I've been struggling with this question lately. You see, I want to make a mark on the world (a true ENFP goal, I know). I don't want to breathe and then leave. As I get older at an alarming fast rate I keep waiting for that moment when I come into my own and rise to the occasion of what is my life.... and yet a deep wide chasm of fear has started to come near me that I might just not get there.

Oh it's not for want of trying. I work very hard to be the perfect mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister, dog owner, homeowner, neighbor, photographer, God-fearing woman in the world. Just that list alone exhausts me. Then I add on the paying for anything in life over and above my dwelling place. I work hard to find healthy foods to eat (something I don't always succeed at) and to get an allotted amount of exercise in to keep my body healthy. That again is something I fear that I'm losing at.

Those things are part of my life - but they don't define me. Yes, they define my time and they are the way that others are able to "size me up" so to speak but they are not the essence of who I really am. So WHO AM I? WHY AM I HERE?

Well my friend sized up the "Who am I" question very well today. He said... "You are REAL. If you teach something, you work hard to really KNOW it. If you give advice you live through it first so you are not making empty promises. When you put yourself to any venture you want to make sure that you can be as good as you can be. You leave no stone unturned to learn ALL about everything that you set your hand to. You develop your skill more than anyone else I know and you still don't think that you are good enough. You are great at so many things. What you are NOT good at is putting yourself out there for the world to see. You are like one of those hidden jewels packaged in something that the world doesn't notice. You are not the flashy ones that have no substance for your substance is great as is your character."

What a beautiful thing to say to me. And yes, I've always been "real". Perhaps its my NJ upbringing or my lineage of a long line of people with very high integrity. I cherish that.

My question is: what do I have to bring to the world... to you? I guess it's just honesty. It is not about filling you with lofty ideas that don't bring you anywhere. There will be times that I'm feeling happy and optimistic about possibilities and then there will be other times that I just feel down. Times when I have worked it as hard as I could and it still wasn't good enough. I struggle with that because I've always been a "talented" person. I don't say that to boast for those were gifts given me by God and I have worked really hard to grow and cultivate them to the best of my abilities. I've needed those gifts to survive.

My creativity is the gift that I've most cherished. With my art I have been able to "process" my life - to make sense of things that I couldn't logically solve in that right brain of mine. I find when I don't create- be it art or music I become unglued.... my mind gets foggy and I don't cope well with things.

So I have made a promise to myself on this first day of November. I am going to try to create every day. Maybe some days all I have time for is a 10 minute improv on the piano. Other days I may be able to spare a few hours to put out some kind of artistic rendering of my day or perhaps a greater project.
To do this I signed up for http://creativeeveryday.com/art-every-day-month-2012-participants a Create every day challenge for the month of November. I understand that my sister and nieces have signed on to write a novel this month.... seems to be the creative month. Would you join me and climb on board?

Many of you that read this are photographers. Doing your studio work doesn't count UNLESS with each session you do something 'out of your box'. Shoot for the client first and then finish it off with something just for you!

For those poets among us - why don't you write a poem a day and illustrate it with some pictures and publish it as a book at the end of the month... wouldn't that be cool?

Maybe for you visual artists as myself - you should work on a book too - maybe a theme that you can run through the month. I'm thinking I might try that...It could be by depicting one real or imagined person and a trip through their life or a theme like angels (for Christmas) or puppies or whatever floats your boat.

I'm not going to write every day anymore.... unless of course I feel the urge. I don't want to write depressing things and sometimes I'm down... it comes with the territory. Artists after all feel their highs just a bit higher and their lows just a bit lower. However for this month I am going to try to publish something every day.... something created... something felt. A piece of my soul in artistic form.

By the way - those Udemy classes are still available. I will be running a special soon on them again. Also I'm working on some great workshops with a good friend that any of you in business will not want to miss... more details to come later.

I better get going... I have to create something today. For me creating is dessert - it gives me joy just thinking about it. Too often I never get around to that "treat" because I'm doing the mundane things that must get done but today, my first stop is to the art store for some new paints and some paper....
See you there!

Artist Inspiration... the Quay Brothers

Had the opportunity to visit the MOMA last week in Manhattan. I stumbled across a timely and perfect exhibit for the season... The Quay Brothers, twins, artists, photographers and film makers.

As I entered the room, a clock in a dome was mounted on the wall and a movie was playing in the background on a sideways slope. I could not draw my eyes away from the intriguing images of creepy dolls, sheer fabrics blowing in the breeze, a couple dancing. As I moved further into the exhibit, large posters, puppets and more creepy dolls decorated the walls. Cubicles with films drew me in to hours of intrigue and inspiration. So today I'd like to share some of what I saw with you... for the halloween season.