"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." - Vincent Van Gogh

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Three Years

Yes, it's been three years since my last post. I honestly didn't know if I would ever pick this blog up again. The death of my father left me spinning. I couldn't write the blog knowing that he would never read it again for he was my most faithful reader. Dad's death changed my life. It changed me.

In three years much has happened. My oldest daughter is graduating from college, getting married and going on to grad school. She has plans of getting her PhD, which I'm sure she will. My youngest daughter is completing her first year of college. She's a trooper who deals with some major issues that no 20 year old should have to deal with (or anyone for that matter). Maybe I'll write about them sometime because I too deal with the fall out of them and that has also changed my life. But that's a story for another day.

In the past three years, I applied to an MFA program, was accepted and have graduated with my Masters of Fine Arts in Visual Arts in Photography. I thought I was going to go to school to learn how to make pretty pictures, but was I ever wrong! The MFA program taught me how to think critically. I learned about myself through my art, what I was saying and how I was saying it. I learned about how others would perceive it. And yes, it changed me. I have finally learned how to live without seeking other people's approval and that's HUGE!

I started this blog 4 years ago this very time of year. I was doing some spring cleaning.  As I cleaned out the clutter in my closets, drawers and basement, I was also learning how to clean the clutter out of my life. To live more simply, to be more vulnerable.

It's easy to stay hidden while still being in the open these days. Although we post on Facebook, we select what we want others to see. We all know that Facebook is more of a show and tell then reality. We show our trips to distant lands or tropical paradises. We show babies and pets and we brag about accomplishments. I love Facebook however. for it's a great way to keep in touch with friends all over the world, or even make new friends.

Facebook can be used as a great support system too. I'm in a few closed groups where people can feel free to be vulnerable and it's great to meet up with so many people with similar walks.

But it's not all that life can offer. Again, it's too easy to stay hidden and just show what you want to show. It's easy to get lost and forgotten. Sometimes you need a REAL hug - not a Facebook hug.

I'm concerned that we are all becoming too isolated in our electronics. We are becoming more of an embodiment of the matrix, lying in a pod, being hooked up to a machine where we live vicariously. I know it's not a new thought, but I want to throw it out there today because this blog is about being more vulnerable and real. For those who choose to read it and enter in, I hope that it lends encouragement.

So, once again I'm cleaning out the cobwebs of my life. I'm throwing away things that no longer serve me, in order to make room for silence, contemplation and new experiences and people. I hope you'll join me on my new adventure into health of the body, mind and soul (and yes, maybe a little art too!)

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