Forgiveness and Grace

In recent years I've becoming very anti-judgement. I used to think that it was the way to hold people to a set of values that I felt was important. If I didn't judge someone, maybe I was in danger of doing the same thing. Or maybe it was more like it made me FEEL good that I didn't sin like the other guy. I could boost myself up.

It's so easy to point a finger at someone else but it has absolutely no value. Love what Robert Downey Jr. says in this clip.

An Artist's Tale...

I love a good Ted talk - they always make me feel so smart... or inspired.... or something. I especially enjoyed this one, not only because he is from my current neck of the woods originally, but because it shows the value of art in a child's life and also is a clear story of success that a boy and then man had from following his dreams and being true to himself.

Banish Negativity.... Feed the Positive

I've hit you pretty hard the past few days with positive thinking. The truth is that many of us are pretty negative.... at least I have been. Here are a few reasons we may tend toward the negative.

Our society if fueled by FEAR. The news reports all the BAD things going on. We learn about people who kill, fires, wars, natural disasters and disease. Speaking of disease... how many of you have watched the reports over and over and over again about needing to get a flu shot because the flu is killing people! But then they tell us that the flu shots aren't effective against the current flu but get it anyway. Fear....

We are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Live can seem out of our control. Jobs seem less secure than they did in former days. The economy is shaky and it is increasingly harder to make a buck. We recently witnessed innocent children and teachers getting gunned down while minding their own business doing what they were supposed to be doing. In the light of these atrocities... it's easy to get negative.

Then there is the political climate. No matter which way you lean it can be scary and there are plenty of "reports" out there and media to hype you up one way or another. If you aren't careful, you become a mouthpiece for their filth and you continue the negativity.

Then there is personal negativity. Maybe you are discouraged, deeply disturbed by the way your life has turned out. You have a job that leaves you wanting, your marriage is troubled or didn't turn out at all and you are divorced. Maybe you have a child with disabilities or are worried about the health of a family member. Maybe you or someone you love suffers with a chronic condition. Maybe your finances are in the dumpster and every time you take a step to correct it, you are set back. We ALL have these areas of our lives that just don't seem to work for us. So what do we do.... complain... grumble and reinforce what we perceive as our reality that God has it in for us.... we are cursed... we have bad luck.... life sucks.... Oh to be us, the pathetic souls that we are and live our pathetic lifestyles.

Unfortunately, we get no relief when we are negative do we? It may feel good to cry and express our emotions, but moving past it seems to elude us. We continue to rehearse the unfairness of life in our minds and if we aren't careful it can become our identities. We all know those people don't we? The poor souls that call you up to complain about their lives for hours on end who don't ever seem to do something to change and move on. The negativity slimes us and soon we are drained in their presence. Imagine what it would be like to BE them.

The truth is that even if we think negativity is our reality and that we are speaking the truth... IT STILL DOESN'T SERVE US! Negativity does not serve you. It is needless and destructive and worse than that.... if you are at all spiritual you will understand that negativity is the opposite of gratitude. We cannot live in both thanksgiving and whining. One makes us feel good and edifies others around us, the other makes us want to crawl into a hole and die. One glorifies God by acknowledging His blessings in your life and the other raises its fist at the Most Holy One in defiance and rebellion. One is a mature expression of acceptance and love and the other is an immature pity party.

"Well... I only grumble about how rotten I am" you say. "When I forget my keys I tell myself what a stupid idiot I am." So, maybe your negativity is more a form of self-punishment? If you punish yourself then no one else will have to. You think that God will know that you are truly sorry for being so pathetic and will back off?

I have news for you.... God already knows you are dust but he certainly doesn't want you punishing something that he has made beautiful. Embrace your mistakes as part of your humanity. Laugh at your foibles and move on. A healthy person can laugh at themselves. You are no more or less perfect than anyone else. It's called being flesh and blood. Life is really like an obstacle course or that show "Knock out" where you run through your course and then out of the blue a big shoe comes out and knocks you off course. Laugh, brush off the dirt or soap suds and get back up and go again. Don't sit and cry about it or belittle yourself because you got broadsided. Half the time it might not even be your fault - you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's alright....

I can't think of ONE thing that a negative attitude is good for... not one. General negativity should just be struck off our list of life options. It's an exaggeration of a decisive action. For instance.... sometimes we feel a "no" to proceed on something. That's not negativity, that's making an informed decision. Negativity takes it to the next level by brooding and focusing on it. Negativity takes all our pain, misery and fear and magnifies it to the point that it can be nearly impossible to see around it.

So today.... make a promise to yourself to strike out negativity from your life. When you catch yourself saying and thinking negative things.... stop yourself mid track and turn every thought into a positive. Forgive yourself for being human and rejoice that there are always options for joy. The good news is that it's a learned behavior and the more you do it, the easier it will become (just like eating vegan style). Soon your natural attitude will be one of being happy and light. This will make you and your family happier and the world will enjoy your presence a bit more. Best of all.... you are bringing sunshine into your world all the time... even on the cloudy days and that my dear... is good for the soul!

Is Your Belief System Sabotaging your Life?

Have your examined your beliefs lately?

I don't mean your religious beliefs.... I mean your personal beliefs.

For example, what do you believe about yourself? What do you believe about your job? Your friends? The world? The government? Politics?

Our belief system can become very entrenched in our hearts but sometimes it is not based on fact or reality, however given time our belief system will BECOME our reality.

Let me say that again.... OUR BELIEF SYSTEM BECOMES OUR REALITY. Unless you examine your beliefs they will run your life and may ruin it too depending on what you believe.

Let me give you an example. A single woman dates three duds in a row. Her belief is now... "There are no good single guys out there... all the good ones are married". Now she sets out to make her belief system accurate... she meets more creeps.

Here's another example... politics. If you believe a certain politician is a horrible person, you will look for evidence to back it up and no doubt you will find it in your own mind. Truth is, he or she may not be as bad as you are perceiving. It works in reverse too.... If you believe someone is wonderful, you may be blind to their faults.

Ok, let's try it a bit closer to home. Did you know that most of your beliefs are formed between the ages of 1-6? Your parents play a huge part in this. If your parents believe a certain way, you are most likely going to adopt the same way of believing. For instance, if you dad comes home from work very tired every day, grumbling about his job you may adopt the belief that "work is hard and no one really likes their job". This will set you up to choose a job that you don't like because that's what jobs are. However, if your parent gleans great satisfaction and meaning from their job, you will be more prone to pursue employment that suits you.

Here's another one. "Money doesn't grow on trees. Money is hard to come by". If this is your belief system you are subconsciously going to back it up with your reality. It will be hard to make money. Or "There's never enough money to do what I want". Again, you will make your belief system your reality.

The truth is that in life we don't get what we deserve... we get what we BELIEVE we deserve. We will only allow good things in our life in as much as we believe that we should get them. If you have a poor self esteem you will not pursue that person that you REALLY want to marry because you don't think you can get them. You will not go after the job or degree you REALLY want because you won't believe you deserve it. It's a great recipe for living below your potential AND a good set up for an unhappy life! Unfortunately then your bad life becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as you spiral down to emotionally dark places where you would rather not be.

This can be a tricky business. Perhaps in church you have learned that we are SINNERS saved by grace however the emphasis was that we are sinners. We will tend in life to focus on our sins, instead of the grace part of the equation. We may get consumed with our wickedness and our humanity and despise those parts of ourselves. We will clearly see evidence every day that we are the worst of the worst and we will live in shame and distain.

Do you think that a mighty God that paid with his life for those sins would really want you to be focusing on what he already defeated? I don't think so! God wants you to live by the grace that has saved you, understanding that even though you are "fallen" you are now redeemed. He wants you to live in a "justification" mode.... just as if you never sinned because as far as He is concerned - it's covered... you are free to THRIVE and ENJOY life! We are sinners SAVED by GRACE. Oh... it's SOOO much better that way. Focus on Heaven instead of Hell. Focus on FREEDOM instead of slavery. Those who sow in tears... shall reap in JOY. There's your focus.... abundant life!

Today it snowed. Some people are happy. It is beautiful. It covers the ground and the trees. It nourishes the earth. Schools were cancelled which make children bubble over with glee. There are opportunities to sled or ski. OTHER people are grumbling. "Now I have to shovel. What a mess! I can't go out or I'll break my neck". It's all how you look at things.

So today.... and every day to come.... examine your hearts. What beliefs are you putting stock in that do not serve you anymore.  The truth is that we will find evidence to support anything we believe. Start looking at the bright side of life instead of the darkness. Start being the head and not the tail of a coin. They are BOTH there, but wouldn't you rather focus on the beauty in the world? It's your choice.... one will let you skip and one will make you trip. I'd rather dance through my journey than do a face plant on my path.... how about you?

Breaking Ungodly Soul Ties

Just stumbled across this powerful video of youth standing against temptation and leading others to victory.

Positive self-talk that blesses your life....

You wake up in the morning, and your first thought is "ugh... another day. I feel like crap. I wish I didn't have to get up so early all the time. Oh, it's so hard to get old, my bones are aching. Ouch, my feet....."

As you make your way toward the bathroom you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. "Oh, aren't you just beautiful, you say sarcastically. Could you be any uglier? Look at that blotchy skin and your hair... ugh."

You shower and head down to breakfast, grabbing coffee and a bowl of dry sugary cereal with milk. "I've got to stop drinking this coffee. I'm so pathetic. Why do I eat this crap anyway? Why can't I learn to like fruit?"

You get in your car and think..."What a piece of junk. It's falling apart right around me. Too bad I'm so poor that I can't get a better car."

As you drive out of your driveway, another car almost broadsides you. "Stupid idiot! How did you get your license anyway? Who taught you to drive! There are so many crazy drivers out here on the road. Hope I don't get hit. I can't afford to have my insurance go up. Why do I have to make this stupid commute anyway?"

As you pull into work. "Figures, I always have to park on the far side of the parking lot and of course it's raining. I will look like a drowned rat when I get in there and my new shoes will be ruined."

The air is heavy in your office. As you look around people are crabby and tense as they think about the new "reorg" policy that is coming out. "I'll never get that promotion now. Probably just lose my job. Then I'll be out on the streets. My kids will have to quit college and what will become of them?"

You get the message. Whether or not these are the things that you say to yourself it may be time to monitor your own self-talk. Most of us are guilty of negative internal dialogue. From the time we were young, we learned to monitor ourselves. "Don't eat that, it will rot your teeth." "That color does not look good on you". "If you get fat, no one will like you". "When you say those things, you make people angry". 

These messages are given to us to train us, however we incorporate them into our lives and learn to discipline and punish ourselves with our own conversation. My question is, does focusing on the negative or what needs to change help you to be a better person? Does beating yourself up give you the results that you want?

If I eat a slice of cake, does it help for me to say "You stupid jerk, why did you eat that again? You have NO willpower whatsoever!" 

Here is the thought that you are reinforcing... I HAVE NO WILLPOWER WHATSOEVER. hmmm, I'm thinking that isn't what you want to go for. How about this.... I HAVE GREAT WILLPOWER AND AM KIND TO MY BODY WITH MY FOOD CHOICES. There, that sounds better. Even if you eat the cake, you are now reprogramming your subconscious to make better food choices at another time.

Louise Hay is the queen mother of positive affirmations and self talk. She has many wonderful books and resources to help you build a better life through thinking and speaking positively.  Here's a little snippet from a movie that she made a few years ago that I found very uplifting. You can watch it on youtube.

There is no benefit to saying negative things about yourself. "I'm stupid. I'm fat. I'm sick. I have emotional issues. I'm pathetic. I'm a failure. I'm worthless."

God made each of you beautiful. You are filled with talents and have something wonderful to contribute to the world. You are one of a kind. You are special. You matter and without you, this world would not be as rich and lovely. 

Believe these things and tell them to yourself every day, many times. Speak positive things into your life. 

Let's try it again. You get up in the morning.....

"Thank you God for this wonderful day. Many new, amazing opportunities are coming my way today and I can't wait to embrace all that God has for me".

"Thank you God for wonderful food that will nourish my body"

"Thank you Lord that I drive safely to work everyday in this car that you have provided for me. Thank you that I have a fulfilling job that more pays me well."

"Thank you for the rain which nourishes the earth and the great food which blesses my body. I'm thankful for a healthy body that enjoys exercise".

"I am grateful that I have many friends in this great employment opportunity. I am deeply enriched and fulfilled and I know that all things work together for my good in this job and in future opportunities. I am grateful that I earn all the money that I need for my life".

Bringing out the TRUE you....

Do you know who you are? Do you embrace the real you? Are you confident that you present your true self to the world? Do you even know what that is?

I've got a great free tool for you today! dressingyourtruth.com. Go ahead and sign up for the FREE video mailings that you will receive every day. In them, you will learn about four dominant personality types and will figure out how you fit into them. Your job is to identify yourself and then run with it!

Women will LOVE this program.... but it works for men too!

Why bother? Well, here's why... because it helps you. It will help you know how to dress to bring your personality out. It will help you to "brand" yourself in your business. The more people understand and know who you are, the more they will be able to trust you. The more definable your business is, the more you will know who your ideal client is too.

Understanding your personality helps in a positive self-image because you no longer have to apologize for what others feel is a character flaw. You conflicts might just be a result of different personality styles! You can learn to accept others and yourself.

Loving yourself and others is our primary mission in life.

Celebrate yourself today and present a clearer image to the world! It's good for the soul!