As you make your way toward the bathroom you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. "Oh, aren't you just beautiful, you say sarcastically. Could you be any uglier? Look at that blotchy skin and your hair... ugh."
You shower and head down to breakfast, grabbing coffee and a bowl of dry sugary cereal with milk. "I've got to stop drinking this coffee. I'm so pathetic. Why do I eat this crap anyway? Why can't I learn to like fruit?"
You get in your car and think..."What a piece of junk. It's falling apart right around me. Too bad I'm so poor that I can't get a better car."
As you drive out of your driveway, another car almost broadsides you. "Stupid idiot! How did you get your license anyway? Who taught you to drive! There are so many crazy drivers out here on the road. Hope I don't get hit. I can't afford to have my insurance go up. Why do I have to make this stupid commute anyway?"
As you pull into work. "Figures, I always have to park on the far side of the parking lot and of course it's raining. I will look like a drowned rat when I get in there and my new shoes will be ruined."
The air is heavy in your office. As you look around people are crabby and tense as they think about the new "reorg" policy that is coming out. "I'll never get that promotion now. Probably just lose my job. Then I'll be out on the streets. My kids will have to quit college and what will become of them?"
You get the message. Whether or not these are the things that you say to yourself it may be time to monitor your own self-talk. Most of us are guilty of negative internal dialogue. From the time we were young, we learned to monitor ourselves. "Don't eat that, it will rot your teeth." "That color does not look good on you". "If you get fat, no one will like you". "When you say those things, you make people angry".
These messages are given to us to train us, however we incorporate them into our lives and learn to discipline and punish ourselves with our own conversation. My question is, does focusing on the negative or what needs to change help you to be a better person? Does beating yourself up give you the results that you want?
If I eat a slice of cake, does it help for me to say "You stupid jerk, why did you eat that again? You have NO willpower whatsoever!"
Here is the thought that you are reinforcing... I HAVE NO WILLPOWER WHATSOEVER. hmmm, I'm thinking that isn't what you want to go for. How about this.... I HAVE GREAT WILLPOWER AND AM KIND TO MY BODY WITH MY FOOD CHOICES. There, that sounds better. Even if you eat the cake, you are now reprogramming your subconscious to make better food choices at another time.
Louise Hay is the queen mother of positive affirmations and self talk. She has many wonderful books and resources to help you build a better life through thinking and speaking positively. Here's a little snippet from a movie that she made a few years ago that I found very uplifting. You can watch it on youtube.
There is no benefit to saying negative things about yourself. "I'm stupid. I'm fat. I'm sick. I have emotional issues. I'm pathetic. I'm a failure. I'm worthless."
God made each of you beautiful. You are filled with talents and have something wonderful to contribute to the world. You are one of a kind. You are special. You matter and without you, this world would not be as rich and lovely.
Believe these things and tell them to yourself every day, many times. Speak positive things into your life.
Let's try it again. You get up in the morning.....
"Thank you God for this wonderful day. Many new, amazing opportunities are coming my way today and I can't wait to embrace all that God has for me".
"Thank you God for wonderful food that will nourish my body"
"Thank you Lord that I drive safely to work everyday in this car that you have provided for me. Thank you that I have a fulfilling job that more pays me well."
"Thank you for the rain which nourishes the earth and the great food which blesses my body. I'm thankful for a healthy body that enjoys exercise".
"I am grateful that I have many friends in this great employment opportunity. I am deeply enriched and fulfilled and I know that all things work together for my good in this job and in future opportunities. I am grateful that I earn all the money that I need for my life".