"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." - Vincent Van Gogh

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Prayer and Possibility

A new year is upon us. A chance for change. A chance to right the wrongs of the past and not to repeat them anymore. A fresh start with new possibilities.

I've taken a little break from my blog the past week or two. Truth is, I decided to practice what I preach and engage in all of life. That meant that I took time to shop for my loved ones and spent time visiting with the people that I cherish the most. I gave them the most valuable gift that I can give, time, listening ears, laughter and smiles. Finally, I took a good amount of time as of late to pray.

Perhaps it was the tragedy in Newtown that drew me in to the throne room of God. The need to hold up those who were grieving so deeply with a hole that would change their lives forever and severely mar their joy. But my praying continued on into the days and into the nights.

I prayed for wisdom and guidance on how to parent my children. I lifted up people that I knew and their needs but mostly I prayed for myself. Yep, it's true.... I asked for God to guide my path with a clarity and passion that I have not prayed with for many years.

There was a time that I heeded the call to pray for hours on end each day. After many disappointments and watching the answers to my prayers head in different directions, I became discouraged and let it all go. But alas, there comes a time when one must go back to their roots, to their firm belief that God does indeed care about us and does hear our prayers.

And in the small little moments of the place between breathing and praying I sent up a little wish and God heard....

The holiday season has been hard on my veganic intentions. Holiday parties filled with delicious smells and abundance in food weakened my resolve. After eating raw veggies for 8 weeks, chinese food had a special allure as did the variety of delicious soups that my sister and her husband put out every New Year's Day. And the coffee punch.... ugh!!!  I didn't get carried away in my eating, but at the same time, I didn't deprive myself either. With each event, it became harder to be satisfied with my vegan ways. My healthful meals soon started to feel like a drudgery that I could not continue. The weight loss wasn't enough to spur me on in the good way. And yet... there's that little black cocktail dress just 3 weeks away....

So while I was contemplating this, I resolved to purchase a juicer to jumpstart and detox myself after the holidays and get me back in the swing of things. I was not able however to go for a juicer that I really wanted and as I looked at the cheap substitutes something held me back from purchasing it. So I sent a little wish up to God for a particular juicer.

Two days ago I went to visit my dear cousin and friend. And do you know what she had on her basement stairs suffering from lack of use??? You guessed it.... the very juicer that I so desired!!! She offered to let me borrow it and it sits now proudly on my kitchen counter waiting to work it's magic.

It may seem like a small thing... but it was large to me. It reminded me of the time many years ago that I wished for music to a particular song that spoke to my heart. Five minutes later the postman was at my door with a package addressed to me with THAT very song in the mix! Do things like this happen everyday when we pray? No, but it's great to take notice that a great and powerful God takes pleasure in giving us what we need and desire.

So this year for me in addition to living passionately, I'm going to once again start each day with some extravagant, intense prayer. Prayer that will change the world. Prayer that will change my life. Prayer that will allow just a smidgen of Heaven into the air around me and those I love. Expectantly I will pray and look for those little answers to my silent wishes.... How about you?

It's not about resolutions really.... it's about the power of possibility and who makes the impossible possible but an almighty God! Let's face it, we can strive all we want to accomplish goals and make our world a better place, but there is so much that is NOT in our power. So here's my recipe for a good mix of success in life.... firm goals, surrender and release mixed in with the presence of a loving God. It sounds like something that's good for the soul!

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