"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." - Vincent Van Gogh

Friday, November 30, 2012

Re-inventing the Body, Day 2

Part 2. Read yesterday's article first if you haven't already.

One day I was shopping and found the PERFECT little black dress for my event. I chose to buy it one size smaller figuring that three months to drop one dress size was a reasonable goal. My plan was to increase my exercise initially. I really didn't plan on dieting because I knew I was down to 600 calories a day as it was and that weight was not budging. I figured that maybe my body would respond to the inertia of a long daily walk. This was the first step.

Step number two, plan on fitting into little black dress - UP the exercise. I knew this in and of itself wouldn't do it but I had to start somewhere. In order to stay true to that goal, I enlisted an exercise partner and we started walking fast and furiously with weights. I found someone who already WAS successful at the goal that I had. This had to be someone who struggled as I had and had lost a boat load of weight.

I was not ready to "diet" yet - just wanted to get the ball rolling. As time went on, I felt a bit more firm and stronger. At this point I mentioned that I was having a problem with wanting the cold creamy stuff at night and she suggested that I try to go one night on and one night off. Just a little cut back.

I went one day like that. The next day I decided that since I did made it through one night successfully, maybe I could eliminate sugar, wheat and dairy too for one day. I did that too. THEN a miracle happened. Because I was strong enough to go two days without the dairy and one day without the other I thought just maybe I had enough in me to be disciplined again like I was in the past and start living with true integrity in my eating. I decided that I could go back to the old healthy way of eating when I was super skinny and felt good about myself. I KNEW that would get me in the little black dress by January.

In order to do that I needed a little more brain programming. Throughout the years, with many moves to different states, I had purged myself of all my great books and resources. I had to start from scratch. I went to the bookstore and started perusing the shelves for more inspiration (something I do with my art all the time). I found a book called "Skinny Bitch" and settled in.

As I read with great interest, interrupted only once by a Barnes and Noble employee offering me a sample of The Cheesecake Factory cheesecake (really?... I LOVE cheesecake), I once again armed myself for war. Veganism it would be! I am truly sensitive to wheat, dairy and sugar (as are most people actually) and they needed to go. The meat went when I read about the cruelty to animals in the meat plants and about the horrible chemicals that are used on the animals to ward off insects. The icing on the cake (oops... excuse that delicious reference) was a reminder that we could feed all the hungry in the world if we fed them all the grain that we are feeding to fatten up our animals. More resources to produce less food... bad idea. The Dust Bowl documentary on TV last week even mentioned that the farmers are irrigating with water that they will need for drinking but are using it up to water the crops to feed the pigs. We seem hell-bent on self-destruction and making poor choices I'm afraid. We think much more in the present and our enjoyment without thinking about what kind of world we are creating for our children.

So, I'm vegan and I'm feeling very proudly "green" with my choice. For 15 days now, I have eaten fruits, vegetables, nuts and other whole foods. I'm drinking homemade ginger tea right now in fact and am soon heading to the fridge for a nice spinach salad.

For me, this is a lifestyle change. I see the weight coming off... although I am not stepping on the scale because I'm sure the initial shock would send me to a trip to the grocery store for my chocolate bandaid. The doctor has my stats and someday when I'm feeling skinny and happy to step on the scale, I will return and find out the ugly truth of that one. But for now.... I'm feeling good and excited about the future.

I have taken the first step into re-inventing my life. The first step that will give me increased life expectancy, a cute wardrobe that expresses my personality, health benefits, a boost in self-confidence that will benefit my business, a good example for my children and others, hope for those feeling that they just can't get rid of that weight and untold other joys. Already I feel more 'in control' of my life and it feels good. Good things have a way of spreading just as bad ones do.

Do you have something in your life that seems to be the "hinge pin"? Start with the basics. If it is your weight... start there. Take a drastic step to reinvent yourself and see where it leads.

Tomorrow I will lay out my little plan of attack. The tools that keep me focused and honest. Until then... have a piece of fruit.. it's good for the soul!

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