Thursday, August 9, 2012
What do Arrogant People have that You Don't?
From the time we are young, we are taught that arrogance is a sin! Pride goes before a fall! Humility is the virtue that we are all taught to attain. The problem is that we've confused humility with low self- esteem! We've confused a state of arrogance with confidence in our abilities.
In order to keep their children from getting puffed up in former generations, people refrained from praising the accomplishments of their children. I remember an old aunt of my husbands that marveled at the intelligence of my then two year old daughter. She whispered to us over and over "She's very bright". "BRIGHT" was a whisper because she didn't want the two year old to know that she was! I, on the other hand complimented her "brightness" in high praise throughout her life, for I wanted her to really get it. This bright little two year old is entering Wellesley this fall, one of the most prestigious colleges in the nation. She's not proud, she just knows her strengths! Thankfully, knowing she was a "smart" girl stood her in good stead last year when she was denied entrance to three major colleges. Instead of "settling", she insisted that she needed the best and she waited it out a year to be where she needed to be. I doubt that she would have gotten there without self-confidence in her abilities.
Think of arrogant artists throughout history. Picasso comes to mind. How about Frank Lloyd Wright? These two were complete jerks but look at the mark they made through their work.
So what did these arrogant people have that catapulted them to success?
1) They didn't care what other's thought of them. They marched to the beat of their own drum. They believed that EVERYTHING they did was fantastic and had great value to the world! Because they thought this, many people believed it too! It's funny how many followers there are for leaders, even if the leaders don't know where they are going.... But in this case, the followers bought their art and supported their passions and life.
2) Like begets like. The more they pursued, the more they were pursued. New ideas were never silly, they were creative genius. Their confidence factor was off the charts.
3) Criticism didn't stop them for one minute. They did it anyway.
4) They were entitled. They would push open doors because they felt that they were entitled to them. It's that sense of entitlement that so many of us cluck our tongues at that got them in the doors that they needed to open to carry on with their vision.
5) They believed what they did had value therefore they were NOT afraid to charge big prices for their work. A pencil line on a piece of paper carried great value as far as they were concerned because THEY put that line there in their own unique genius. Other's thought so too apparently.
6) They were selfish! Their goal and vision came first! Relationships and people were to be used to the end that they promoted their best interests! People were merely rungs on the ladder of success.
7) They weren't afraid to ask for help or money. They considered it an honor bestowed on the respondent to be asked by their greatness for this favor.
WARNING: If you become like this your friends will hate you and you will burn through them like water. You will however have a consistent following of new fans and people who want to breathe your air to partake of your success. You will have an amazing ride through life but in the end will find yourself lonely with a withered soul.
How about we all try to tap into the good qualities without partaking of the bad. Is there a way to be bold and aggressive in business, acknowledging your achievements without using other people? I think there is! Can we let criticism run off our backs? We need to if we are going to move ahead as artists because there will be naysayers. Can we charge fair prices for our work without feeling like we have to give them away? Absolutely!!! Can we ask other's for help? Yes, we all need help if we are going to get to where we are going.... life is not a solitary journey.
So today, channel the good qualities of the rich and famous and expect great things to happen in your world! It's good for the soul!
Posted by Anne Clay at 9:38 AM